Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Testing it was.

Despite of my lengthy considerations at the last entry, I finally decided to have another MRI.

To cut this short to the relevant facts: it came out good!!! "No significant changes since the last examination"

Surprisingly, I did not walk the valley of shadows again (mentally speaking), I stayed relatively cool. Did I just get used to it? Or maybe it was the thought: If it had come back, I would notice from emerging defects: increasing forgetfulness, irritability. But talking about especially about those two potential "symptoms": These are soft markers and everybody with a good amount of hypochondric talent can create those in a minute. That's the general problem with brain-related problems: they are hard-if not impossible- to objectively grab. OK, you can make the usual tests, (Touch the tip of your nose with the right or left index finger) the patients among the readers will of course know them all. I do these from time to time.And I constantly watch out for any unexplained muscle twiching on the left, weakness of the left arm or leg, just anything unusual.
So, you will ask: why did you decide to do it? The answer may sound strange and a bit pathetic:

I wanted to make sure, that my girlfriend, who is still living on the Westcoast, if she would finally move to Germany, that I am in good enough shape that it is worthwhile for her moving in with me. At least from the best of my knowledge.  I know this sounds pretentious, but I swear to God, this was going on in my head. OK, maybe it was just the trigger I put forth for a conflict than needed to be resolved. But as things came out good I am happy I did it. I have to say, despite the fear before the procedure, it DOES feel SO GOOD afterwards, but to get a new setpoint for what it feels like to still be OK, and to have something to compare myself to (set my self -examination to zero). Its all good.

I am still a long-term-survivor: 6.5 years and counting!!!! Old age, here I come!!!