Hello again!
First of all the update on the dreaded MRI (last post): "unchanged", "re-demonstration of large, fluid -filled resection cavity, without evidence for recurrence" Hard to believe for most experienced neuro-oncologists, but I am still riding that curve. After 17 years. (surgery, February 7, 2005 my second birthday.)
OK, but now a little about the real life events: I survived the COVID-crisis so far without catching the bug! I got all the vaccinations of course, as a cancer survivor with 14 rounds of Temozolomide I probably still belong to the "vulnerable" group (possibly compromized immune system). Not sure if that still counts after so many years (treatment was in 2005, now its 2022). but here I say: "better safe than sorry"
Brain-related aftermath still existing, although nobody acknowledges that ("oh , that I have too") nothing too serious, sometimes irritable forgetfulness (Where did I put that key? ) mostly small things but I realised, I seriously depend on my "little helpers" to get things done (laptop, iPhone) I have lots of pop-up-reminders. In general, for a hole in my brain that size its amazing how relatively well I "function" (if thats a purpose in life).
So the latest development, after becoming unemployed at the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, I was stuck in searching for a new position in science (You remember that I do cancer research): WE MOVED BACK TO CALIFORNIA!
The last push towards this came (of course) from my wife, who after joining me in Hamburg, where she worked on a project at the "Institute for Traditional Chinese Medicine" for a while and then, after a three year intermezzo in a "real science" institute (her words) in Dortmund, (3 hours train-ride away) ended at the same level like me: being unemployed. And if you know something about Germany, although an "Old" country(44.5years average!! 4th highest in the world), ageism is abundant and a HUGE hurdle in finding a job. So us, both being in our 50's found ourselves trapped in a job market unresponsive to our applications (YES: In Germany a photograph AND a Date of birth are expected in a CV!!!)
Bottom line, when nothing moves, one has to move oneself. (sounds deep but is a simple necessity) My wife, through a mail to a SD scientist, managed to get the attention of a big academic/industry institution, which (to our own surprise) made us attractive offers and promised to pay part of the moving expenses, no surprise, we were flattered and came. after a nightmarishly stressful moving-out experience, we finally have re-established ourselves in San Diego -AGAIN-. Goodbye Germany!
sounding all bright and hopeful, could not stay too long, obviously. In the meantime both of us are out of a job -AGAIN-. different reasons, though, for me it sadly may be connected to the deficits I mentioned above. For my wife it was, because she discovered that her project was based on an artefact leading to misinterpretation of the data. so while i am "let go" her project is officially "on hold" (Means no pay and termination after three months.
Now we are stuck again, but here we know people and will find something. But here is where my story comes back in. I will need to see that I find something less demanding (VERY difficult to admit to myself), a fast-paced industry environment is probably no longer for me. Although I am still full of ideas and love nothing more than tackling with complex problems.
This is the task ahead: Find my place in the world -AGAIN-. I have a kid to raise. THAT is a complex problem too. But for me less easy to solve than the consequences of "epigenetic mis-regulation of the Bmi1-gene in tumorigenesis".... ;-) (My "last" submission, still unpublished, even possibly related to brain cancer)
But I am ALIVE!!
OK, thank you if you read this sometimes, drop me a note! Its always good to see that I am not writing a monologue to myself here.
Take care!
(T.)
